Ordinary People(DQ -> Chapter 3)

1. Conrad is stressed about Lazenby being late to pick him up because then his mom would have to drive him.
2. gray disease-the worry that consumes Con's father. What Conrad does to make his father worry about him.
3. Con's grandmother eagerly reminded Con about the stress his father had becuase of him. This makes him feel very bad.
4. good taste-the neighborhood the family lives in, the way they present themsleves to society.
5. Stillman treats Con poorly. Stillman makes front of Con for being a junior again. Con responds back in his head.
6. Stillman: always had an easy life; spoiled brat.  Lazenby: pretty close to perfect; arrogant and cocky.
7. Con's opinion of Stillman is that he is cocky. He thinks divers are crappy people.
8. Miss Melon treats Con by being easy on him and treating him like a baby.
9. Con feels guilty for all the mistakes in the past and still feels bad.
10. indifference to concern is whatever vs. thinking about everything.
11. Con likes chorus because all he has to do is sing to be accepted (this makes him feel secure).
12. He wants to talk to Con and asks if they gave him shock therapy. He treats Con badly.
13. She was shocked to see him home and he tells her how he is trying to be "normal" and she ignores him. She (Beth) was very rude.

  

Ordinary People(DQ -> Chapter 2)

1. Beth is Conrad's mom. She is not a very warm person.Image is very important to her.

2. Beth thinks that Conrad dresses like a bum, and there is no reason for him to do so because he has a closet full of wonderful clothes.

3. She doesn't want to look bad.

4. He was an orphane, never really had the father figure in his life. He thinks being a good father means to give your child everything and they will be fine.

5. If the father really payed attetenion to his sons he would have noticed signs. Like are they eating, sleeping, doing homework, etc.

6. If your a good father you would notice things about your child. His vision of his sons was that they are "normal."

7. Do the right things.

8. Con only wants some cereal while mom makes a big meal. Cal wants Con to tlk to him while Cal wants to read. Beth wants to go play golf.

9. Preppy, jock, happy, "normal."

10. Con is different, and changed for life.

Ordinary People(DQ -> Chapter 1)

1. Bumper Stickers is used as an example in the story. It symbolizes life purpose. Example: "Honk if you love Jesus"

2. His room is blue and blank. He no longer has bumper stickers on his walls anymore.

3. Conrad uses bumper stickers as a symbol for life purpose. He has no bumper stickers on the walls of his room anymore so its like he's lost in confusion of who he is.

4. He makes everything seem the same but lets him know that he will have some bad days.

5. Con is plagued by a white rash on his face, he has ugly hair, and is very skinny.

6. Con is to call the therapist right away, because if he goes to the therapist everything will be normal and okay.

7. They don't acknowledge the problem. If they don't talk about it, it's not there.

8. It's the first day back to school. Con is very nervous, because he's transitioning from hospital to school.

9. May flies are born, lay eggs, then die. they don't question life. Conrad does.

10. Faith- brainwashing. Faith was going through motions.

Research Paper

Relationships today face many issues on a personal note and as well as a society as a whole. We as a nation must pull together all of our resources and help the youth face the problems of tomorrow, today.
We need balance, which we do not have any longer, to survive our relationships. My mom says she has a strong desire to give me and my sister a better, safer world but at times this is impossible with the way things are in our society today.
This face is verbal abuse which is the chosen abuse I would like to talk about in this paper. Verbal abuse is also backed up by physical abuse. Unless the victim tells, these abuses often go unnoticed.

My mom was both verbally abused and physically abused by her mom. She is also a child sexual assault survivor. This is a woman who I thought I knew everything about until I told her about this paper that I had to write. Then she told me things that I have no empathy for because I have never nor I hope to ever go through what she has gone through. I have made her the center of my paper because I want to help her let things go. Also I feel like I understand some of her pain now and why she parents they way she does. My mom was a silent victim. She explains that she never told anyone because she was afraid and did not really think any thing was wrong. Family at times noticed things, or marks on her but no one asked any questions. My mom says her sisters were afraid of her. Teachers in the 60’s did not talk about abuse and let parents punish their children as they saw fit. So my mom suffered many years of abuse in silence with only her sisters to care.

What is Verbal abuse?
It’s when someone put’s someone down using words that can hurt for the rest of your life.
Words that can make the victim feel bad about themselves.
Calling the victim names. My mom was called stupid, idiot for most of her life.
Playing mind games. My mom was told that her mom will be wherever she was.
Interrogating the victim. For hours my mom was asked questions about school.
Intimidating the victim. My grandmother had a big belt which was hung right by her outside door so that when my mom was entering her house, the first thing she saw was the belt. Fear is what the belt was meant to be.
Checking up on victim’s activities. My mom remembers her mom being everywhere. There was no freedom for her until she was married at nineteen.
Humiliating the victim, in front of family and friends. My grandmother made sure that every chance she could she would say something bad about my mom in front of people. She was demeaned in front of friends.
Making the victim feel guilty. My mom says that her mom made her feel guilty everyday. She would say that it was her fault that her father left. He had wanted a boy and they got another girl. My mom was not named for three weeks. My mom says that she was unwanted for being female. She was the third.
Shaming the victim.
My grandmother controlled everything about my mom. Her friends, her schooling, reading materials and so on.
Jealousy. My mom is beautiful and my grandmother did not like this. She would make fun of her, every chance she could. Even today, my grandmother makes fun of my mom being fat. Jealousy is often a prime symptom in adult relationships that turn abusive.
Most abusers blame the victim for everything that goes on in their relationship. This can be adult relationships and parent/child relationships.
Slavery. My mom was treated as a slave from five years old till she left to get married. My mom had to cook, wash, clean and iron. She had to take care of her youngest sibling which meant getting up in the middle of the night to feed her, when mom was seven years old. My grandmother left no room to complain. When my mom would she would get a beating.
No money. My mom was never allowed to get any new clothes, shoes, nor any treats. When she was fourteen she went to work and had to fork over her pay to pay for the rent and telephone bill.

Mom says that; my grandmother wanted was to have power and control over her children and for them to never forget who the BOSS is. Grandmother was a perpetrator. That is what my mom calls her. My mom loves her mother dearly. That’s what I do not get. How can you love someone when you are getting hurt all the time. That’s what love is? I sure do not want it. According to my mom; her mother was full of anger at my grandfather. He left his family and never helped raise them nor gave any money. He passed this past October and my grandmother cried a lot.
My mom learned to tell when my grandmother was really angry by a certain look and a tone she would use when they got home from school. My mom would not look at her but would quickly get on with her chores and answer her ever question respectfully. My grandmother would also surprise them when they would get home. She would wait until they were inside and start beating for no reason.

My mom suffered the beatings and the verbal abuse by her mom. She vowed never to treat people like that and never to treat her own children the way she was treated. She kept her word.
She has raised my sister and I with knowledge about all the abuses and that perpetrators could be anyone. Abuse holds no discrimination. My mom is a survivor and I hope I will always have my mom around to help me in case I fall into an abusive relationship of to help me see the signs before the hurting happens.
Physical abuse is painful but the scars go away. Verbal abuse never goes away because it’s instilled in the brain. My mom can recall every word that my grandmother called her and how she felt. I feel young people should be educated on all types of abuses so they wont fall prey. I know I have been really educated by this issue and have grown closer to my mom and feel she is a survivor and a strong one at that.










REFERENCES:
My Mommy Dearest: Jeannette Hunt
Patricia Evans, Verbal Abuse Survivors (Book)

Holocaust

The Holocaust was the systematic, bureaucratic, state-sponsored persecution and murder of approximately six million Jews by the Nazi regime and its collaborators. Some have argued that the Holocaust never happened. If the Holocaust never happened then where did so many Jews disappear to?
In the autobiography “Night” by Elie Wiesel, Mr. Wiesel talks about his experiences as a young Jew being sent with his family to a German concentration camp at Auschwitz and Buchenwald during World War II. In one story the class read from his first autobiography of three, Wiesel talks about him and his father being in the camp where they were treated like dirt and were judged. Wiesel wrote that if someone didn’t look strong enough to keep working for the Germans they were sent to the gas chambers where they would die. Elie was a young boy at the time and still in good enough shape not to be picked but his father on the other hand was not so fortunate. When Elie’s father found out he had been chosen he gave Elie his knife just in case he didn’t pass the next test. Elie talks about how miserable he felt and how the people who were in charge gave him some slack because they knew what he was going through. Later on in the evening Elie found out that his father had passed and was not going to the gas chambers. Elie gave his father back his knife.
If you were to read the autobiography for yourself you would surely understand the emotion that was in the camp. The Holocaust was real. The impact it made was real. In the aftermath of the Holocaust, those who lived tell there tales in stories as well. Most Jews moved to different places as well after the Holocaust.

Characteristics of An Abuser

Abuser can come in all shapes and sizes.

• An abuser is not always a man
• An abuser is not always the product of an abusive childhood.
• You can not always spot an abuser "from a mile away". In fact, many former victims can tell you that they would have never suspected their abuser until it was already too late.
• An abuser is not restricted to inflicting only physical pain. Most times, the psychological damage far exceeds the physical damage.

• Denial: In many cases, the abuser will act as if nothing happened, in order to excuse his/her behavior. If they do admit their actions, it is always the fault of the victim. They justify their actions by claiming that they were provoked.
• Abusive men and women tend to feel inadequate and depressed. Abusive men and women generally come off to the outsider as arrogant and overly self-confident. This is in fact a defense mechanism they use to hide their dislike for themselves.
• Jealousy and possessiveness: An abuser feels jealous and over-possessive of their victim. They often demand to know their victims whereabouts at all times, get insanely jealous at the slightest hint of someone else getting any of their victims attention, and become very hostile at the thought of losing their "property".
• Domination and emotional attachment: An abuser expects complete attention and support from their girlfriend / boyfriend / wife / husband. Abusers expect and demand complete control and submittance on the part of their victim.
• Inability to understand or recognize their problem: The abuser is often times, if at all, the last person to admit that they have a problem. Abusers commonly do not respond well to counseling because they are unable to understand their anger or confusion.
• Alcohol and drug abuse: Abusers tend to lean towards drugs and/or alcohol as an "escape". However, the effects of the drugs and alcohol make the attacks much more intense. Many interviewed abusers, accused of murder, use alcohol and drugs as their alibi. "I did not know what I was doing" or "I can't remember" are very common excuses.
• Manipulation: Abusers know how and when to make their partner feel guilty. By causing guilt, the victim is more likely to stay and deal with the abuse, rather then feel "responsible" for any harm their abuser might inflict on themselves. Suicide is frequently used as a method of manipulation. Sometimes an abuser will go as far as to cut or cause other forms of harm to themselves in order to keep their victim from leaving.
• Frequent abuser: Many abusers have previous instances of abuse in their pasts. Some might have even been arrested or treated for violent tendencies. However often times their current partner is unaware of these situations.
• Obsessed with weapons: Many abusers are infatuated with weapons. They will collect certain weapons, spend countless hours talking about weapons, and participate in events which give them the power to use weapons.
• Stalking: As an undercover method of maintaining control, an abuser will stalk or follow their partner from a far. Its purpose is to frighten their victim, and to prevent them from taking the initiative to leave. Overall, stalking invokes fear, without the abuser even touching their victim.

Discussion/Study Question pp. 141-198

Discuss the involvement of the name of the Merryweather High mascot and the debate over each name.
The school keeps changing the name because each name can resemble something inappropriate that would not be good to have.

What draws Melinda and Ivy together?
They like art. Ivy spilled paint on Melinda and they go to  the bathroom together to clean it and star talking.

Do you agree or disagree with “Ten More Lies…” Why?
In the middle because some are lies and others seem true.

Describe Melinda’s inner turmoil when she discovers Rachel is dating Andy. What should she have done? Did she do the right thing?
Melinda feels upset and sadden and frightened for Rachel. She wants to tell her what happened but is not sure if it is the best thing to do.

What is the symbolism of Mr. Freeman’s statement, “…trees are flexible, so they don’t snap. Scar it, give it a twisted branch-perfect trees don’t exist…Be the tree” (p. 153).
Mr. Freeman is basically saying things are going to happen to you. But that's okay because no one is perfect and everyone has there own issues.

How does Melinda begin to assert herself and find her voice?
She starts speaking up and she tells Rachel what happened to her.

What happens when Melinda decides to talk to Rachel?
Rachel does not believe her and thinks that Melinda is just telling her this stuff because Melinda is jealous.

What do the entries under Melinda’s initial graffiti in the bathroom reveal?
She's talking.

What is the correlation between Mr. Sordino’s treatment and explanation of the diseased tree with Melinda’s “survival?”
Mr. Sordino is wrong in the way he believes things should be. But it is his opinion, i guess.

What happens at the Prom?
Melinda goes to her closet and It is there and tries to rape her again.

What is the resolution to the story?

Melinda tells the story to her mom and she starts to overcome the situation.