Thursday, March 19, 2009

Research Paper

Relationships today face many issues on a personal note and as well as a society as a whole. We as a nation must pull together all of our resources and help the youth face the problems of tomorrow, today.
We need balance, which we do not have any longer, to survive our relationships. My mom says she has a strong desire to give me and my sister a better, safer world but at times this is impossible with the way things are in our society today.
This face is verbal abuse which is the chosen abuse I would like to talk about in this paper. Verbal abuse is also backed up by physical abuse. Unless the victim tells, these abuses often go unnoticed.

My mom was both verbally abused and physically abused by her mom. She is also a child sexual assault survivor. This is a woman who I thought I knew everything about until I told her about this paper that I had to write. Then she told me things that I have no empathy for because I have never nor I hope to ever go through what she has gone through. I have made her the center of my paper because I want to help her let things go. Also I feel like I understand some of her pain now and why she parents they way she does. My mom was a silent victim. She explains that she never told anyone because she was afraid and did not really think any thing was wrong. Family at times noticed things, or marks on her but no one asked any questions. My mom says her sisters were afraid of her. Teachers in the 60’s did not talk about abuse and let parents punish their children as they saw fit. So my mom suffered many years of abuse in silence with only her sisters to care.

What is Verbal abuse?
It’s when someone put’s someone down using words that can hurt for the rest of your life.
Words that can make the victim feel bad about themselves.
Calling the victim names. My mom was called stupid, idiot for most of her life.
Playing mind games. My mom was told that her mom will be wherever she was.
Interrogating the victim. For hours my mom was asked questions about school.
Intimidating the victim. My grandmother had a big belt which was hung right by her outside door so that when my mom was entering her house, the first thing she saw was the belt. Fear is what the belt was meant to be.
Checking up on victim’s activities. My mom remembers her mom being everywhere. There was no freedom for her until she was married at nineteen.
Humiliating the victim, in front of family and friends. My grandmother made sure that every chance she could she would say something bad about my mom in front of people. She was demeaned in front of friends.
Making the victim feel guilty. My mom says that her mom made her feel guilty everyday. She would say that it was her fault that her father left. He had wanted a boy and they got another girl. My mom was not named for three weeks. My mom says that she was unwanted for being female. She was the third.
Shaming the victim.
My grandmother controlled everything about my mom. Her friends, her schooling, reading materials and so on.
Jealousy. My mom is beautiful and my grandmother did not like this. She would make fun of her, every chance she could. Even today, my grandmother makes fun of my mom being fat. Jealousy is often a prime symptom in adult relationships that turn abusive.
Most abusers blame the victim for everything that goes on in their relationship. This can be adult relationships and parent/child relationships.
Slavery. My mom was treated as a slave from five years old till she left to get married. My mom had to cook, wash, clean and iron. She had to take care of her youngest sibling which meant getting up in the middle of the night to feed her, when mom was seven years old. My grandmother left no room to complain. When my mom would she would get a beating.
No money. My mom was never allowed to get any new clothes, shoes, nor any treats. When she was fourteen she went to work and had to fork over her pay to pay for the rent and telephone bill.

Mom says that; my grandmother wanted was to have power and control over her children and for them to never forget who the BOSS is. Grandmother was a perpetrator. That is what my mom calls her. My mom loves her mother dearly. That’s what I do not get. How can you love someone when you are getting hurt all the time. That’s what love is? I sure do not want it. According to my mom; her mother was full of anger at my grandfather. He left his family and never helped raise them nor gave any money. He passed this past October and my grandmother cried a lot.
My mom learned to tell when my grandmother was really angry by a certain look and a tone she would use when they got home from school. My mom would not look at her but would quickly get on with her chores and answer her ever question respectfully. My grandmother would also surprise them when they would get home. She would wait until they were inside and start beating for no reason.

My mom suffered the beatings and the verbal abuse by her mom. She vowed never to treat people like that and never to treat her own children the way she was treated. She kept her word.
She has raised my sister and I with knowledge about all the abuses and that perpetrators could be anyone. Abuse holds no discrimination. My mom is a survivor and I hope I will always have my mom around to help me in case I fall into an abusive relationship of to help me see the signs before the hurting happens.
Physical abuse is painful but the scars go away. Verbal abuse never goes away because it’s instilled in the brain. My mom can recall every word that my grandmother called her and how she felt. I feel young people should be educated on all types of abuses so they wont fall prey. I know I have been really educated by this issue and have grown closer to my mom and feel she is a survivor and a strong one at that.










REFERENCES:
My Mommy Dearest: Jeannette Hunt
Patricia Evans, Verbal Abuse Survivors (Book)

Holocaust

The Holocaust was the systematic, bureaucratic, state-sponsored persecution and murder of approximately six million Jews by the Nazi regime and its collaborators. Some have argued that the Holocaust never happened. If the Holocaust never happened then where did so many Jews disappear to?
In the autobiography “Night” by Elie Wiesel, Mr. Wiesel talks about his experiences as a young Jew being sent with his family to a German concentration camp at Auschwitz and Buchenwald during World War II. In one story the class read from his first autobiography of three, Wiesel talks about him and his father being in the camp where they were treated like dirt and were judged. Wiesel wrote that if someone didn’t look strong enough to keep working for the Germans they were sent to the gas chambers where they would die. Elie was a young boy at the time and still in good enough shape not to be picked but his father on the other hand was not so fortunate. When Elie’s father found out he had been chosen he gave Elie his knife just in case he didn’t pass the next test. Elie talks about how miserable he felt and how the people who were in charge gave him some slack because they knew what he was going through. Later on in the evening Elie found out that his father had passed and was not going to the gas chambers. Elie gave his father back his knife.
If you were to read the autobiography for yourself you would surely understand the emotion that was in the camp. The Holocaust was real. The impact it made was real. In the aftermath of the Holocaust, those who lived tell there tales in stories as well. Most Jews moved to different places as well after the Holocaust.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Characteristics of An Abuser

Abuser can come in all shapes and sizes.
  • An abuser is not always a man
  • An abuser is not always the product of an abusive childhood.
  • You can not always spot an abuser "from a mile away". In fact, many former victims can tell you that they would have never suspected their abuser until it was already too late.
  • An abuser is not restricted to inflicting only physical pain. Most times, the psychological damage far exceeds the physical damage.
  • Denial: In many cases, the abuser will act as if nothing happened, in order to excuse his/her behavior. If they do admit their actions, it is always the fault of the victim. They justify their actions by claiming that they were provoked.
  • Abusive men and women tend to feel inadequate and depressed. Abusive men and women generally come off to the outsider as arrogant and overly self-confident. This is in fact a defense mechanism they use to hide their dislike for themselves.
  • Jealousy and possessiveness: An abuser feels jealous and over-possessive of their victim. They often demand to know their victims whereabouts at all times, get insanely jealous at the slightest hint of someone else getting any of their victims attention, and become very hostile at the thought of losing their "property".
  • Domination and emotional attachment: An abuser expects complete attention and support from their girlfriend / boyfriend / wife / husband. Abusers expect and demand complete control and submittance on the part of their victim.
  • Inability to understand or recognize their problem: The abuser is often times, if at all, the last person to admit that they have a problem. Abusers commonly do not respond well to counseling because they are unable to understand their anger or confusion.
  • Alcohol and drug abuse: Abusers tend to lean towards drugs and/or alcohol as an "escape". However, the effects of the drugs and alcohol make the attacks much more intense. Many interviewed abusers, accused of murder, use alcohol and drugs as their alibi. "I did not know what I was doing" or "I can't remember" are very common excuses.
  • Manipulation: Abusers know how and when to make their partner feel guilty. By causing guilt, the victim is more likely to stay and deal with the abuse, rather then feel "responsible" for any harm their abuser might inflict on themselves. Suicide is frequently used as a method of manipulation. Sometimes an abuser will go as far as to cut or cause other forms of harm to themselves in order to keep their victim from leaving.
  • Frequent abuser: Many abusers have previous instances of abuse in their pasts. Some might have even been arrested or treated for violent tendencies. However often times their current partner is unaware of these situations.
  • Obsessed with weapons: Many abusers are infatuated with weapons. They will collect certain weapons, spend countless hours talking about weapons, and participate in events which give them the power to use weapons.
  • Stalking: As an undercover method of maintaining control, an abuser will stalk or follow their partner from a far. Its purpose is to frighten their victim, and to prevent them from taking the initiative to leave. Overall, stalking invokes fear, without the abuser even touching their victim.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Discussion/Study Question pp. 141-198

Discuss the involvement of the name of the Merryweather High mascot and the debate over each name.
The school keeps changing the name because each name can resemble something inappropriate that would not be good to have.

What draws Melinda and Ivy together?
They like art. Ivy spilled paint on Melinda and they go to  the bathroom together to clean it and star talking.

Do you agree or disagree with “Ten More Lies…” Why?
In the middle because some are lies and others seem true.

Describe Melinda’s inner turmoil when she discovers Rachel is dating Andy. What should she have done? Did she do the right thing?
Melinda feels upset and sadden and frightened for Rachel. She wants to tell her what happened but is not sure if it is the best thing to do.

What is the symbolism of Mr. Freeman’s statement, “…trees are flexible, so they don’t snap. Scar it, give it a twisted branch-perfect trees don’t exist…Be the tree” (p. 153).
Mr. Freeman is basically saying things are going to happen to you. But that's okay because no one is perfect and everyone has there own issues.

How does Melinda begin to assert herself and find her voice?
She starts speaking up and she tells Rachel what happened to her.

What happens when Melinda decides to talk to Rachel?
Rachel does not believe her and thinks that Melinda is just telling her this stuff because Melinda is jealous.

What do the entries under Melinda’s initial graffiti in the bathroom reveal?
She's talking.

What is the correlation between Mr. Sordino’s treatment and explanation of the diseased tree with Melinda’s “survival?”
Mr. Sordino is wrong in the way he believes things should be. But it is his opinion, i guess.

What happens at the Prom?
Melinda goes to her closet and It is there and tries to rape her again.

What is the resolution to the story?
Melinda tells the story to her mom and she starts to overcome the situation.

Discussion/Study Question pp. 95-137

Discuss what precipitates Melinda’s skipping school and what she does.
Melinda sees IT at a bakery aftering having to walk to school and runs from the bakery and skips sxchool. She goes to the mall.

Was being a child better than being a teenager? In what ways? In what ways is it better to be older? Why is it hard to be in between childhood and adulthood?
Not really. Being older means more responsibillities yet being younger means less. It's hard to be in between because you get some responsibities but also you get treated like a baby.

Analyze the reference to the symbols in The Scarlet Letter and how Melinda would adapt the letter “A.”
She wouldn't.
Discuss the dissolution of Melinda and Heather’s friendship and the effect it has on Melinda. What is the meaning of friendship?
Melinda and Heather are no longer friends. The meaning of friendship means to be loyal.

Analyze the events and effects of Valentine’s Day on Melinda and the aftermath.
Melinda thinks that valentines day is the worst.

Melinda wishes her science teacher would teach them about love and betrayal instead of about the birds and the bees. Where do we learn about things like that? Can we learn about love from a book? Explain?
We learn about stuff like that from our parents and friends. We can learn from books.

Discuss what happens when Melinda is placed in In-School Suspension. How would you react to this situation?
I would feel very upset about the situation.

Analyze Mr. Freeman’s effect on Melinda, inside and outside the art class. Do you agree with his statement, “When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.”
very true.

Mr. Freeman tells his class, “You must walk alone to find your soul.” What does this mean? Is it true? What is a soul?
THat only you can find who you truly are as a person. It is true.

Mr. Freeman also says that “art is about making mistakes and learning from them.” What else is like this? Explain.
Life is also like this.

Examine Melinda’s self-image and her survival techniques after Heather’s rejection.
Examine Melinda’s revelation about the night of the party and its residual effect on her.
Melinda feels betrayed by Heather. The aftermath of the party was that Melinda was sorrowful.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Teen Abuse

There are many different types of abuse. 
Different types would be:
1. Verbal Abuse: when one person uses words and body language to inappropriately criticize
another person. 
*ex. put downs or name calling
2. Psychological Abuse: (also known as: mental or emotional abuse) when one person controls information available to another person so as to manipulate that person's sense on reality.
*ex. your boyfriend hits you and tells you it was for you own good, like he's trying to teach you
3. Physical Abuse: when one person uses physical pain or threat of physical force to intimidate another person.
*ex. hitting, kicking, punching, etc.
4. Sexual Abuse: any sort of unwanted sexual contact perpetrated on a victim by an abuser.
*ex. rape or touching inappropriately
5. Neglect: when someone does not care for someone who the person is responsible for.
*ex. not feeding your child
These are all types of abuse that a teen could face in life. A teen could also face abuse from their self. This usually happens when a child/teen has suffered from a traumatizing experience.
Different types of self inflicted abuse are:
1. cutting
2. burning/abrasions
3. head-banging
4. carving
5. scratching
6. branding
7. marking
8. biting
9. bruising
10. picking / pulling skin and/or hair
These are types of abuse and inflicted abuse most common by teens.

My Mandala :]


Monday, March 2, 2009

Movie Review

The movies I decided to review are: What’s Love Got To Do With  It,  A Beautiful Mind and Girl, Interrupted.

These three movies dwelt with physical and verbal abuse, drug and alcohol addictions and mental illness.

First I would like to talk about What Does Love Got To Do With It.  This is a movie about Tina Turner and her life with Ike Turner. Ike Turner begins using drugs and alcohol   when he loses the ability to make good music and Tina begins rising to the top with her songs. Due to his jealously, he becomes a perpetrator of physical and verbal abuse towards Tina.  During the 1960’s and 70’s when these movies were set, female empowerment was not a big thing. Tina decides to stop being a victim and empowers herself with spirituality, which in turn gives her the strength to fight Ike back and leave him for good.  She was determined to have a lucrative career and make it in life without him, which she did. Love should never hurt.

The second movie that I watched is A Beautiful Mind.  This movie is about a most brilliant math genius called John Nash.  He went to Princeton in his late twenties. His mind began to give in to paranoid schizophrenic.  A mental illness which undiagnosed and not treated will leave you with hallucinations.  John Nash and his wife were married and they lived in a state of turmoil for years.  Nash’s delusions begin to overpower him and his wife, when finally he agrees to get treatment.  After being diagnosed and on medications, Nash goes on to win the Nobel Prize in 1994.

The third movie I watched was Girl, Interrupted.  Here is a girl, eighteen years of age, white and living in the 1960’s.  She has a drug problem and is very unhappy. She attempts suicide and agrees to be put in a mental institution.  She believes she will only be there for a month or so, but has been committed for a year and a half.  Susanna; who wrote this story about herself, is diagnosed as having borderline personality.  She has to take medication and live almost like a prisoner at this institution.  The other characters are dealing with their own diagnoses and there is lots of ugliness that goes on.  Truth is that is what a mental institution deals with on a daily basis.  Finally the patients at Claymoore hospital have a great impact on Susanna’s life.  She wants to get better and get back on the outside to live a productive life.

In conclusion, I feel redemption is a personal and unique experience to all three major characters. Everyone with a mental illness, addiction or victim of abuse will have to develop his or her own definition of recovery.  This person will have to want to reclaim their lives back.  They will need hope, and lots of strength.  They will need a good support system to stand by them, when in their darkest hour, or when in their happiest.  If any of these three people were to stand too proud to admit there was something wrong, the person would not be able to move forward and recover from any illness.  These people needed to manage their own self recovery and have some expert help to guide them.  Also having spirituality was a major factor for Tina Turner.  Having medications for mental illness also helps to manage the symptoms of the illness and lets you continue with your life as in Nash’s and Susanna’s case. The characters needed to accept responsibility and this improved their quality of life.  Accept the experiences that they went through helped them become strong and supporters needed to treat them with dignity, compassion and respect.  Recovering from any illness is a non-linear process.

By this I mean that you can take one step forward and two steps backward tomorrow. From these movies, no illness can be taken lightly.  Which is why positive people around you should be a priority? 

Finally I want to say that having a mental illness or addiction or being a victim of abuse will sometimes help you find a greater meaning to life.  I am not saying that without it you will not find meaning, just that going through something like these characters did, helped them find who they were.  They had to answer some questions like we all do; what is it that drives me?  Is it hope?  Is it personal responsibility?  Do I need to educate myself about my illness or addiction or abuse?  Knowledge is power.  What are my beliefs?  Is there balance in my life?  What choices do I have?

I really learned a lot about different issues here. I feel that I was empowered by all these people by learning what happened to them and how they dwelt with their issues and how would I deal with some of these issues if it was me.  Back in their day, these characters didn’t deal with these issues quite as openly as we would today.  I believe society was not as open to acknowledge that this was happening in their staircase.  Today, you can go anywhere and receive help of any kind. No one should judge and talk because life is too short and no one is perfect. Mental Illness, Addictions and victims of Abuse can be anyone.  There is no gender, no age, no color, and no class.  It can be me and you tomorrow. 

Literary Terms

1. Theme
•Central idea or message in a work of literature
•Perception about life or human nature shared with the reader
•Theme is NOT expressed by one word, but rather by a statement.

2. Finding Theme
¡To discover theme in a story: What happens to the central characters in the story? State the importance of those events as they apply to all human beings.
To discover theme in poetry: What is the topic of the poem? Then, what does the poem say about the topic?

3. Imagery
¡Use of words or phrases that appeal directly to the reader's taste, touch, hearing, sight, or smell. Imagery is any vivid or picturesque phrase that evokes a particular sensation in the reader's mind.
Examples: "golden brass,” “silvery steel,” and “autumn blaze”

4. Simile
¡Comparison between two unlike objects using the words “like” or “as.” In formal prose the simile is a device both of art and explanation, comparing an unfamiliar thing to some familiar thing (an object, event, process, etc.) known to the reader.
¡The soul in the body is like a bird in a cage.
¡My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun.
¡The argument of this book utilizes pretzel-like logic.
They remained constantly attentive to their goal, as a sunflower always turns and stays focused on the sun

5. Metaphor
¡Compares two different things by speaking of one in terms of the other. Unlike a simile, a metaphor asserts that one thing is another thing, not just that one is like another. Very frequently a metaphor is invoked by the to be verb
¡Nature is an anchor in the storm of life. She became a cat during the jewel heist

6.Symbol/Symbolism
¡An object, sign, or image that is used to stand for something else, as a flag may be used to symbolize a nation. The systematic use of recurrent symbols or images in a work to create an added level of meaning. Example: In Golding’s Lord of the Flies, the fire symbolizes rescue and hope; the beast symbolizes fear and man’s capacity for evil

7. Motif
¡A recurring object, concept, or structure in a work of literature. A motif may also be two contrasting elements in a work, such as good and evil.
In the Book of Genesis, we see the motif of separation again and again throughout the story. In the very first chapter, God separates the light from the darkness. Abraham and his descendants are separated from the rest of the nation as God's chosen people. Joseph is separated from his brothers in order that life might be preserved.

8.Verbal Irony
¡A subtle form of sarcasm, verbal irony is a rhetorical device in which the speaker either severely understates his point or means the opposite of what he says¡A guest politely describes a host's unimpressive wine as "nicely chilled“ An extremely dull person is described as "not a likely Mensa (organization formed of those with an IQ in the top 2% of the population) candidate

9.Conflict
¡Struggle between two opposing forces/characters¡Internal conflict: The struggle is within the character
¡External conflict: The struggle is between the character and an outside force

10. Personification
¡Represents an animal or inanimate object as having human attributes--attributes of form, character, feelings, behavior, and so on. Ideas and abstractions can also be personified.
¡The ship began to creak and protest as it struggled against the rising sea.¡We bought this house instead of the one on Maple because this one is more friendly.
¡This coffee is strong enough to get up and walk away.

11. Alliteration
¡The recurrence of initial consonant sounds. The repetition can be juxtaposed (and then it is usually limited to two words):¡Ah, what a delicious day!
¡Often, though, several words not next to each other are alliterated in a sentence. Here the use is more artistic.
¡I shall delight to hear the ocean roar, or see the stars twinkle, in the company of men to whom Nature does not spread her volumes or utter her voice in vain.

12. Allusion
¡A short, informal reference to a famous person, event or literary work
¡The best sources for allusions are literature, history, Greek myth, and the Bible¡The reference serves to explain or clarify or enhance whatever subject is under discussion, without sidetracking the reader.
¡If you take his parking place, you can expect World War II all over again.
¡Plan ahead: it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.